Category Archives: Uncategorized

When the exhaustion is real.

It’s been almost a month since Ivanka’s Dad became our president-elect. (I stand with the podcast Call Your Girlfriend in refusing to say his name)  Maybe for some of you it was a win but for me it was a devastation.

I was, without a doubt, mean to the children for two weeks.  I found myself yelling for no reason.  I had no patience.  I cried over everything and nothing.

here is a sampling of my tweets:

 

I cried, a lot. In fact I am crying now writing this. I am still tired. I am still emotionally wrecked.  It’s only been a month and I feel like I am supposed to be better. And I am.  I am better.  This job is too hard to do when you are empty.  It is too hard to do when your heart it broken.  It is impossible to do with any sort of quality without a deep well of empathy and patience.

So I sit here with tears that are still coming a little bit too fast and empathy that is still coming a little bit too slow and say to you, If you’re ready to rebuild those things and teach the children again, I’m trying.  I will talk with you about self care. I will laugh at your stories and I will cry about the realities of the next four years. I am lucky enough to be in a place where moving out of the sad and empty phase is possible and if you want someone to do that with, I’m here. Also, if you need someone to sit with you cause you can’t I can do that, too.

With all the love,

 

Anne

From the mouths of…

My Children. Present without comment but with permission.

“Today I am feel really mad at all the people adults in the nation who decided to vote for someone that thinks “Making America Great Again” is done by eliminating people from this nation who want a better life.”

“We all obviously nervous. For whats gonna happen. if were gonna stay or not. Its also scary we are all being label once again.”

“I WANT MY RIGHTS.  idk what I am trying to say. I am just upset.”

“The reason I am sad is because Trump was elected but I guess it’s okay until January thats when the truble comes and the rest I don’t want to say because it’s too emotinal for me.”

” I have two older sisters who were not born here but have DACA. Donald Trump said he would take DACA away.”

“I’m scared Trump will really deport all illegal immigrants back to Mexico. If this is true, I’m not ready to see a lot of my family gone.”

“I dreamt Clinton won somehow and everything was okay.”

“He doesn’t make the laws. He can’t force people out right of the bat.”

“Why American? Well, he’s 70, maybe he’ll keel over before too long.”

“It seems that I’m not as valuable a person as I thought I was.”

“I’m worried about Trump. I’m excited about Friday.”

“I feel really pissed off about the election.”

“Today I am worried that eventually my mom and dad are in trouble and that they will eventually be taken back to Mexico or jail for being here in California.”

 

 

#CMCmath Restorative Justice and Circle Talk Resources

I spoke at CMC South today and while I am super happy with how if went there will definitely be a reflective piece about my first time speaking (outside of the safety of TMC) and all the things I need to do differently next time.

But for now I just want to put up all the resources I used.

Circles

This is the post on circles I wrote a while back.

Looking at it now I want to do a whole post on circle questions.

Restorative Justice

I condensed what is 3 days worth of training into to 45 minutes so instead of trying to type all that out I’m just going to link you to all my resources.

I said this was WashPo but it’s NY Times Magazine.  This article is a primer in RJ.

What is RJ?

Implementing RJ in Schools

Edutopia’s Collection of Links on RJ

 

I will post more about the talk and circles later.

 

Night!

 

 

Güerita

I am a white lady. It’s not a surprise to anyone who has meet me, I mean I am quite obviously white, able-bodied, and female.  Which puts me in right in the majority of my students’ teachers.  In fact some of my 9th graders hadn’t had a male teacher until middle school.  Many of them could count the few non-white teachers they had on one hand. I was not one of them. I am a güerita.

It took me a lot of years to figure out I was white or at least to know it in anyway that mattered.  It took more than that for me to be able to talk about it in class.  This snippet happened recently as part of a bigger conversation.

I didn’t know I was white growing up. – me

What do you mean you didn’t know?- Student 1

Well, when did you know you were brown? – me

Like, I don’t know, always. – Student 2

I mean, seriously, like I never didn’t know. -S1

No really, think, when was the first time you knew that you were brown?. -me

::pause::

I guess it was when my mom looked different than the other moms at kindergarten. I like knew those kids were white so I was not white.- S2

Yeah, I mean I always noticed kids had different skin even when I was really little. – S1

Okay, well I didn’t know being white was even a thing til high school and I didn’t realize it affected my life til I was probably 26. -me

I talk to kids about the way I grew up.  I talk about the way people look at me in stores, the way I see myself reflected in tv and books, the things people assume about me because I am white.  I talk about privilege.  I use the word privilege.  I tell them I have all sorts of privilege they don’t I’m an adult, I’m their teacher, and I’m white.

I have said this before and will say it again, I am not a magical wizard teacher.  I do not do this perfectly all the time. I do not casual inform my children about racism in the perfectly modeled lesson with questions ready and responses pre-thought.  I do though wade in to waters that are tricky.  I stumble and screw up and falter for the right words. I do not get through to every child.  White boys are a particular challenge for me in these conversations.

I can say pretending that me being a white lady didn’t matter wasn’t effective.  Thinking that the children might not notice I was white or trying not to notice they weren’t (or were) did not lead to a realistic community in my classroom.

In my student teaching I taught a class of Algebra 1 in Spanish for students who were new to the country.  My Spanish was not good enough to do this but I tried.  They tried so hard to say Schwartz but the schwa sound doesn’t really exist in Spanish so when I wasn’t there they called me güerita.  Essentially, nice white lady or white lady we like.   I would like to say that that was a tipping point in realizing my whiteness but it wasn’t.  It came much later for me.  Maybe, just maybe, the conversations in my classroom will push that timeline up for someone else.

Chalkline with Noah Cho.

Dudes, the summer lazies are hitting sooooo hard.  So this is two days late.  Ooopps.

Episode 9.

This week I am talking to an English teacher!  I know shocking.  Noah Cho is super rad.  You can read some of his writing about his amazing identity curriculum here or here.  Or some thoughts on dating while being an Asian dude here.

To listen: Code Switch or NPR Politics.

To watch: Did any of you follow the #carefreeblackkids2016 hashtag?  It was so lovely this vine  I have watched it approximately 100 things.

To read: Melinda again, Melina always.  This article on the lasting impact of Social Justice on our students of color.

 

People Noah thinks you should follow on Twitter:  Nicole Chung and Celeste Ing

Chalkline with Moses Rifkin.

Happy 3rd of July! I’ve been spending the days reading, sleeping, quilting, tving, listening, and what not.

Episode 8

This week we speak talk to the super cool Moses Rifkin. We talk about his curriculum, life, and work. If this episode were to have a title it’d be, “Hey guys! We’re not going to die today!”

This is a million things to listen week:

  1. Jenn’s History of Ed podcast which is awesome.  I love this dress code episode.
  2. NPR’s Code Switch! Guys, it’s good.  Just do it.
  3. Also, Radiolab’s More Perfect.
  4. This episode of This America Life featuring Lindy West and Roxane Gay.

To Read: Hilary Clinton’s Letter on The Toast

 

People Moses thinks everyone should follow: Chanda Prescod-Weinstein and Sarah Tuttle

Chalkline with Ilana Horn. (Part 2)

Dudes,  sorry about yesterday.  It got away from me.  Which is silliness as I am not doing a whole lot these days. #summer  If you listened to the first half of this then you already love Lani would be my guess.  If you didn’t you should listen to that first cause this makes less sense without it.

Episode 7

This week’s syllabus.

To Read: Okay, real life.  My start of summer reading is rereading the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan.  This is not cool.  Next on my list is finishing Shrill and For White Folks Who Teach in the Hood.

Oh, also this article Choosing a School for my Daughter in a Segregated City.

To Listen: Moses recommends this week’s On The Media about Orlando which I intend to go listen to right now.  Also if you missed Chalkline’s episode on Orlando it is pretty okay.

To Watch: Bryan just reminded me that I have been meaning to watch United Shades of American.  How about we watch and chat about it in two weeks?

Person Lani thinks everyone should follow on twitter:  duh, Fawn Nguyen.

Chalkline with Ilana Horn. (Part 1)

 

Okay, Lani and I talk too much and Lani is always on point soo this is part 1 of my interview with Lani.  In two weeks (maybe next week?) I will put up the second part. In this part we talk about her journey to PhD work, what she’s teaching, how much she loves teachers, and her observational tips.

Episode 5

This week’s syllabus:

To read:  I’m reading Lindy West’s Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman.  As a loud women myself I love hearing that I am not alone.  On a side note I tweeted to her about something and I apparently set off the trolls and dudes, from 2 tweets interacting with her I was called a cunt by at minimum 45 strangers on the internet in the course of 10 minutes. If you want a peek into her experience here is her interview on this American Life.

To read (2): Instead of listening this week I will share the statement from the unconscious woman that was assaulted at Stanford.  Read it.

To watch: So I’m watching Being Mary Jane with Gabrielle Union.  If you want some slightly trashy and hugely engaging summer binging the first two seasons are on Netflix.

 

 

Game Time #MTBoSyearbook

I humbly request that you tweet your picture and senior quote for the #MTBoSyearbook.

All Tweets will be complied next week and posted in a most excellent spread. If you would like to put someone else in the yearbook you are welcome to do that but they can override yours for their own.

For example:  Andrew really wants Fawn in the Yearbook.  He tweets this pictureScreen Shot 2016-05-24 at 10.26.57 AM.png

With the quote,

“I’m always fucking losing shit including my mind.”

Fawn is like, OH HELL NO. And instead tweets this.Fawn Nguyen

“Andrew is super nice.  Except when he bites, which is a lot.”

I would include the one Fawn wants since it’s her spot. Even though obviously the first one is better.

Basic Rules

  1. Tweet with #MTBoSYearbook
  2. Include your name, a picture of yourself, and your quote
  3. Yes Elizabeth it has to be your face and not a monkey
  4. You can include other people but be sure to tag them so they can override
  5. The deadline is Next Friday June 3

 

Spread the word friends.

 

30 things

Thirty things I have done (and will do) since I turned (and while I’m) 30.

  1. Dyed my hair blonde and pink
  2. Filled a two bedroom apartment with furniture and love.
  3. Managed Mulligan’s first health crisis
  4. Began the foster care process
  5. Spent the night in the gym with 80 seniors
  6. Held auditions for the second school play
  7. Took 27 hours of foster care classes
  8. Worked out twice a week for three months
  9. Made new friend
  10. Got my best friend a job at my school
  11. Failed a test (for the second time)
  12. Drove to and from Vegas to take said test
  13. Got my home inspected
  14. Supervised Pride Week
  15. Hosted a Talent Show
  16. Co-Hosted a Baby Shower
  17. Put up a second production
  18. Started a Podcast
  19. Became more involved with the local LGBTQ community
  20. Saw a friend be ordained
  21. Attended a student’s father’s funeral
  22. Saw my cousins for the first time in years
  23. Graduate our first class of seniors
  24. Learn how to work out properly
  25. Let a child into my home
  26. See my best friend get married
  27. Put up a musical
  28. More things
  29. to be added later
  30. to this life reminding

me just how good my life is.