What do you do with rudeness?

I am ridiculously optimistic.  I get it from my father.  I love the kids pretty relentlessly no matter what they do but occasionally my brain explodes a little.

I have a scholar with a tone.  Like everything I am doing is the worst.  I actually think she likes me and my class but literally all the eye rolls and pissyness and everything all the time.  I have not managed to convince her that her tone is a lot.

Today I lost my cool a little when while I was talking at my desk  this scholar got up walked to my desk violently pulled out all the tissues from the box and then threw the box away. All while huffing and stomping.

There are a myriad of annoyances here including that I don’t let kids take things off my desk at all ever.

It’s the entitled piece maybe? I don’t know but I called her out in a tone that was enough to make the rest of the class quiet. It was not my best moment.  If we’re being honest though I don’t know what to do.  It’s May there have been 20 conversations around all the things that she did in that moment that were rude.

So now I’ve damaged a relationship maybe?  I don’t know. I owe a kid an apology, maybe? Probably?  I don’t know. BLAH.


4 thoughts on “What do you do with rudeness?

  1. Is there another adult around whom she connects with more? Could that adult facilitate a conversation, making it clear that you are coming from a place of caring, perhaps giving her a chance to air any slight she may have perceived from you? Just a thought. Sounds like a rough one.


  2. I would come down strongly on the side of you not needing to give her an apology. My feeling here is she hasn’t learned boundaries, or about tone, despite your attempts to help her.

    Or she is being deliberately antagonistic. Which is most likely unlikely.

    Maybe its worth a discussion about how tone is important. What did she take from your tone? Maybe that will lead to helping her see the impact she has on others?

    Not sure how helpful I am. Continue being awesome.


  3. I have found apologizing for something I did that wasn’t my best teacher moment (yelling at a kid across the room, reacting too harshly, etc) helps model for kids how to take responsibility and apologize. Plus, if I do regret an action, I should apologize– even if the student’s action warranted some type of action from me. I think it’s great for students to see us as reflective adults that do think about how we make others feel. Perhaps starting with that will lead into a conversation where the student might be willing to reflect on her part in the interaction? However, if she isn’t, you can make it clear that you aren’t just apologizing to get her to say sorry, too.

    Tough one. Let us know how it goes!


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